I won’t lie…I am loathe to put too much information on this blog about spirituality because I don’t want people to think that this is about “religion” or changing your spiritual beliefs. But I am only six posts in and I believe it does need to be addressed.

If I have a vision of the world it is this… when people are told that bad things have happened to them, rather than immediately going into a place of sadness, we could actually start to see that this place of darkness is actually a place of incredible light. Wouldn’t it be amazing, while we were going through all the doctor and therapist meetings, that we could be told, “how amazing, what an incredible opportunity you now have to be happy.” I realize this may sound very, very strange to some people. But to others, those that have experienced an awakening  and have started their path, I believe they will intuitively understand what I am saying. Or, as I felt when I first heard it, “oh wow, is it possible?”

I know in the first few years of trying to help Leia, I was very overwhelmed and sad. I found myself crying a great deal. I generally felt like a victim who was trying to solve at best a major riddle and at worst an unsolvable, irreversible problem. It would torment me and I found myself, frequently carrying what felt like an insurmountable burden on my shoulders. Nobody anywhere at that point said, “what an incredible opportunity you have,” and I think if they had, I would have found them very strange. But by the time I did first hear that for the first time from the founders of Sonrise, a parent run homeschool program, I was already on the path. It was still a shock to hear, and I wasn’t really sure if they were just being extremely positive and nauseatingly American, but actually they genuinely meant it. Because they have truly gone through what I have been through and they are doing such amazing, positive work.

That is the purpose of this blog and in fact all the work, I plan to do around Rezilient. It is to help people become more aware of the potential to experience an awakening. This doesn’t mean we walk around as Ram Dass says, “with light in our eyes and a holy looking face.” What it actually means is that you are now on a process to experience a transformation in the face of all the challenge you have experienced. It’s just a hard fact. You don’t get to experience really hard things without an upside. It goes part and parcel with the story. That doesn’t mean you will be going around feeling the highs you felt before or the supposed “happiness” you felt before. In fact, you will probably start to redefine your understanding of happiness profoundly. Still, the more you embrace it (and it really isn’t an extreme process), the more you will feel a new kind of calm and yes a new kind of happiness.

This is the journey I am on.

I thought I would use ten interesting points listed by Lonerwolf that help you recognize signs of a spiritual awakening….

  • Feeling as though your life has changed forever
  • Uncertainty and fear
  • No longer liking what you once liked to do
  • Extreme desire for solitude
  • Feeling greater empathy for others
  • More experiences of synchronicity
  • Becoming more sensitive
  • Going through bouts of anxiety and depression
  • Asking questions such as “Why am I here?” and “What is my life purpose?”
  • Thirst for truth and spiritual self-fulfilment

When you start to experience these symptoms, it’s as Ram Dass describes, the “suits” that you were used to wearing, don’t fit quite as well as they did. You feel less at ease within yourself. Once you start to feel these feelings, you never really go back. That doesn’t mean you have to profoundly change either. But you have started to feel something else. You realize that what you thought makes sense, doesn’t anymore. By the way, when he refers to suits, I believe he is speaking about our attachments, the things we feel define us, our ego and ultimately our suffering.

No longer liking what you used to like to do is a big one for me. I cannot say I have fully changed but I would say, the need to lose myself, get intoxicated and run away with fun filling pleasure, is no longer the path I know will lead me to happiness. That isn’t saying I don’t still crave escape and desert islands, but I am much more aware that they will not make me any happier.

Ram Dass writes, “The rate at which that balance of attachment shifts must be honored. You can’t make it go faster than it goes, because the minute you try to get ahead of yourself it gets phony and the minute it gets phony it is just another ego trip that you will have to clean up anyway.”